If we get a mixture of good and bad parenting growing up, I think shame isn't so huge.
We can withstand things, not take them as meaning we are bad.
Shame for me, begun at the start, when mother didn't acknowledge my right to existence, and didn't hold me enough. The body experiences that as shaming.
If we did get enough fundamental brick building in the beginning, than we feel hurt when things went wrong, as they do, but not life lasting shame.
Many of our conscious memories are smoke screens. The shame already existed. We try to master it by pin pointing things we felt were the culprit. It's easier than going back to the non verbal state when shame felt like a death