Hey Matt , I'm back and guess what I had the most pleasurable awesome evening I'm ecstatic!! Why did I start my response like that well if you remember by what I wrote in previous post the one where I couldn't leave my bedroom and was even scared of a HOUSE PLANT. The point I am trying to make and I think I can say for the majority of us have felt no one could feel worse than I do, no ones panic, depression could be as bad as mine. I and by what I read a lot of us are trying to get you to challenge those thoughts and use EVERY possible positive resource you can . Anything worth having will take work weather it's pleasurable or not. Anxiety disorders are the most treatable of all mental health issues.

Baby steps it will take but each step forward like a baby will get you to the off and running.
I can not stress enough how much I understand know personally where you at but I also can't stress enough that you can recover. Keeping it real I will let you know it won't mean once recovered that you won't have times you will struggle but I can promise once you fully get treatment it will never be as bad. I can not urge you enough to find a therapist who's specialty is depression/ anxiety disorders, get your meds adjusted as they appear to not be as effective as the can be. Find out if any where in your area have the 12 week CBT grouped . The groups are small and usually run by a therapist and recovered person. Work the program. Read read read self help books on these subjects I can give you a list starting with a easy to read ones that I have used. Don't sweat which came first anxiety panic more often than not co- exist but that doesn't change how it is treated . I used everything I could to overcome it learned deep muscles relaxation that I still use so calming and peaceful. Proper breathing techniques you would think we all know how to breath properly since birth but it gets lost sometimes. Your struggle really touches me as it reminds so much of myself. I would like to hear you come back with a reply of the things you are doing or looking into to get you back to you. again I will leave one of my favourite quotes that helped me and reminded me that my thinking was faulty.

F.E.A.R= False Evidence Appearing Real