An update:
I just found out that the two people (a couple) who may have been the closest I could have had to friends are moving to another state. Not like I blame them or feel any resentment towards them, but now I'll be even more alone than alone, if that's even possible. And I just think that given more time, maybe we could have fully bonded like real friends…or even like family…I even lived with them for a few days before my lease started on an apartment and I needed to be in the city. So it's almost like losing an Aunt and Uncle…and I have almost zero contact with any family other than parents as it is.
I'm not sure what to do at this point…I could hang out with this guy that is interested in me (but I'm not in him) but that just seems like a bad idea that will just lead me into doing something physical that I don't want to do.
But everybody just disappears and/or moves away when I even attempt to get close. Or there's too much sexual tension for anyone to be comfortable (this happens with both genders). So what's the point? In order to be friends with people, do I have to completely shut myself off emotionally? Should I only attempt to be friends with people in a long-term stable relationship in order to avoid developing feelings for each other?
And it's not just on here but in real life I notice that I can't share my opinions/thoughts because they're just misunderstood and that just causes fights.
Seriously, how does anyone have any friends at all?! How does anyone ever experience any closeness in families? It's so completely foreign to me that I don't know how I'm human.
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