I really do not think that you are failing in therapy - maybe there is just not a good match between you and your T? My answers to your questions would be:

1). No, I think you are not obnoxiously punctual and it is normal to assume that if you pay (and actually even if you didn't pay) someone for their work, they should respect you and your time and be on time... I'd accept rare situations when T is late or has to finish earlier but I would expect T to say it in advance if possible and apologize - that is what both my Ts always did...

2) There are approaches in which Ts do not talk much as they don't want to "force" you to talk about a certain topic so there might be even a lot of silence... But if you don't feel comfortable with it, you could try maybe more psychodynamic approach in which therapists are more active and not like a "blank slate"?

3) It might be that your T has no idea what to do with your therapy but also that he wants you to take a control over it... But in both cases - there are many other therapists and approaches who would be willing to structure sessions better... My first therapist was a bit like yours but my current gives me more feedback and is willing to structure the session if I ask her for it. I guess different clients have different needs, so also different approaches have to be around. Clearly this approach doesn't fit you the best - Thus, I would try a different one...

4) I don't know what to write here... I think this type of therapy clearly doesn't work for you, but instead of "considering quitting the whole thing", I would consider finding a better match because there are also very good Ts...

Good luck, I hope it will work out well for you