Birdpumpkin~ I can't believe I am going to share this because I know you won't know the significance. I'm not sure there is one to your story. I just wondered what I could say and was surprised I didn't think about this the first time I read your story. I guess I was looking for something to say about the f*cked up situation. All I have is a child hood memory.

When I was in middle school~ My parents decided to move out of the country into what I considered the city. They rented an apartment and we were only there a week or two before we came home one night after some freak threw a molotov cocktail on his girlfriends balcony.

We didn't lose everything to the fire~ it was water damage that hurt my parents. They were freaking out because they kept being told no one was in the building but we couldn't find my brother and sister. It took us a couple hours to find them because they got bored and walked to the carnival. They weren't much older than me and had about as much concern as I did. Teens!

I ended up missing a few days from school and when I returned my history teacher made the girl next to me share her notes. We were both pissed. I could have borrowed them from someone on my own but I couldn't read her writing and she didn't want me reading what she wrote.

I don't really recall why we didn't like each other because we had just met but we were clear on where we stood. we kept our attitude towards one another a bit longer but we ended up being best friends all through high school and a few years after.

I don't know if that would have happened without the fire. I miss her.

I am so sorry for your losses. Hopefully, You and your family will create more happy memories in your new home. I know it seems like you will never forget but you might want to put your memories about Winston, Tabitha, lily, james, and ... in a journal so you can have them later. It was a terrible loss and understandable that you are still dealing with the pain.

I do hope you can find a way to attend therapy but until then ~ we are here. Best of luck to you.