I am far more witty and pally with one of my wife’s friends than I am with her. What happens spontaneously and effortlessly with my wife’s friend just does not happen with her no matter how hard I try. My married life would be great if this could happen

My wife is a better doer than I am. When we go travelling, she kind of takes charge and does all the organizing and coordinating while I virtually become a passenger. However when I travel alone, I do much better but what happens spontaneously when alone just does not happen with her where I struggle for the same level of efficiency when alone.

On the Tennis court, if I play doubles with a better Tennis partner,I tend to get complacent but I take charge when I am the better partner. The same aggressiveness just does not come when I play with a partner better than me.
Basic question- How does one force a certain behavior where it does not come out when the same behavior comes out so spontaneously and effortlessly in a different situation or with a different person?

Is there any medical terminology for this predicament which I have called psychological relativity for want of a better expression.?