I wish I had seen this section when I posted in the PTSD section. Not sure where it is best to put these.

I have met with a couple of therapist over the last 20 years, but none have I ever really talked to until now. I have just started with a therapist that I almost instantly trust (which is WAY out of sorts for me). He feels I have PTSD, which I am beginning to acknowledge more as I try to understand oddities, but I am finding myself really worried about doing things 'wrong' in sessions. Now I KNOW you can not mess up therapy, but I can't help but think and wonder what he thinks of what I say to him, does my body language say something else, are my reactions normal... etc.... I am noticing I say one thing at one time, believing it 100%, and then a few days later find that I do the opposite of what I said I do or I don't do what I said I do or....... you get the idea.
I am very good at reading people, but he is very good at not being read. I know the relationship must be about trust and I shockingly do trust him and am worried that if I go in and say I am scared of him(LOL) that it will be taken as I don't trust him and I don't want that. Not sure here.