i was in such a crisis mode, i never brought up the going away bit to him i could send him an email but i don't know. is it bad that i'm kind of pissed that he yet again successfully talked me out of things? blerg. he knows me too well and knows my buttons and i suppose some part of me wants to be talked out of it otherwise why would i keep talking to him? i feel kind of lame about that. like i need to figure out how to keep my mouth shut.

so here i am today feeling just terrible but still here and i feel so stuck about all of it. i would like to get away. i do think some me time could help right my brain. idk. idk. i kind of would like my children to stay someplace and hubs and i get away just him and me so i can try to be open with him. my t is always talking about being open because i suck at it.