Thank you for trying to help me feel better by saying this (though I am unable to feel any sense of comfort or anything at the moment). But here is a revised and a more well explained version of my situation for anyone to address:

I am experiencing something far worse than depression. It's not a feeling of hopelessness (depression), it is a complete inability to experience any enjoyment or pleasure and there is not a single brief moment (even a few seconds) where I am able to experience at least some level of pleasure. This is not a matter of "I may have some loss of pleasure, but at least I am still able to experience a little bit of pleasure to make the best of my life." This is something catastrohpically serious. I am completely unable to experience pleasure 24/7 (as in, this ability has been completely wiped out permanently). I never experience even a brief moment of pleasure even once. At least during even my worst moments of depression I was at least able to have moments of some pleasure. But this form of "depression" I'm having now does not allow this at all.

This is the result of me having a severe panic disorder in which I was experiencing many panic attacks every day. Knowing that I am in this constant state of panic and that I cannot escape from it has caused me depression. Fortunately, this depression has actually held off (replaced) the fear on the very 1st day I was in this constant state of panic. Unfortunately, this depression is chronic and is always there holding off the fear and unless I have this depression, that will cause the panic to return. The depression started out as feelings of strong hopelessness which actually allowed many moments of pleasure (something unstable with highs and lows). But now, this depression has stabilized into something far worse in which I no longer feel hopeless, but also feel no pleasure whatsoever. However, I am starting to feel very hopeless now knowing that I no longer experience pleasure. But this feeling of hopelessness does not cause me to destabalize once again and have moments of highs and lows in which I am able to experience some pleasure again. I am stuck this time feeling no pleasure.

I notice that when I first had this chronic depression, when there were few moments in which this depression goes down, that causes the fear to return. Then, of course, immediately once the fear returns, that causes the chronic depression to take back over and replace the fear. This time, there are no such moments or even any moments of pleasure and now this depression is something completely chronic.

Although I do not totally believe that my depression will never get better to the point where I will be able to enjoy things again, I do view it as a strong possibility that it will never get better and I question whether my depression will get better and I am going to explain why. When I started to have this panic disorder, I realized that there could be the possibility of me experiencing many panic attacks all throughout the day each day (though this is something that could be false and could only just be a few panic attacks per day instead). However, it could also be something true--we don't know. But this is a risk that my mind was not willing to take and decided to shut down all emotions in order to prevent the fear from happening, leaving me in a state where I feel no pleasure at all. I feel that not even this state I'm in will even get better because my mind is also not willing to take the risk of having it get better because of the possibility (whether true or false) that if it does get better, that will no longer hold off the fear and cause the panic to return because if my emotions return (in this case, pleasure), then my panic will also return since panic is also an emotion.

Also, I am already aware that there are many people with chronic and severe depression and have gotten better, but I can't help but keep thinking that my situation is somehow different that will leave me with this depression which will last my entire life and never get better. The reason I think this is not only because all of my reasons stated so far, but also because depression in this case is a response when your mind recognizes something as being a problem or something as a possible problem. Depression eases up when your mind no longer recognizes that thing as being a problem or a possible problem. But no matter how much coping skills I acquire and such, the possibility of having many panic attacks everyday is, in fact, something that my mind views as a possible problem and I do not see how that will ever not be perceived as a possible problem. Having many panic attacks each day would be something horrific and I do not see how it would ever be possible for you to be perfectly fine with that and not view that as a problem. Therefore, this is why I feel that this depression will forever remain there because of the fact that I will forever view that as a possible problem and to forever keep the fear shutdown.

I feel that it does not matter how much the fear goes down, my mind has decided to completely shut down all emotion anyway. So even if the fear were to get better, the fact of the matter is that my emotions will still remain shut down as they are now. This is because my mind has decided that since the fear is the problem, to completely shut it down and to do that would also require a complete shutdown of my pleasure as well. So, again, it does not matter how much the fear is addressed or how much the fear is eased up (even to a point where the fear is very close to nothing). My mind will still preserve the message that the possibility of having many panic attacks each day could be a possibility. Because of this, my fear will still remain fully shutdown and obviously my pleasure too as a result. So even though my fear is the source of my depression, what really needs to be addressed is not the fear, but the depression. But based on my reasonings here, I do not see how it is going to get any better now. If you somehow think so anyway, then please provide a scientific explanation as to how.

Finally, I have another very important question here which is that for many people with chronic depression like me, their depression does get better but only to a certain point and they then have to learn to live with that remainder. But what if I have reached that point already? There would be no way I could live a life of no pleasure like this and I would have to resort to having electric convulsive therapy which is a shock to the brain, or having a lobotomy which is a brain procedure that takes away who you are as a person, but is something very likely to bring back my pleasure to a degree that is livable or even completely for that matter.