Have you tried to contact her? Maybe she could see you sooner.
With the thoughts that serious you might should go to the emergency room.
I hope this gets better soon. If you need to talk you can always PM me.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha