I guess I'm just at the point where I've brought my kids into the world, and they'll do what they do. I don't have any Einstein or Bell contributions to make to the world. I'm not feeling suicidal or anything, and I understand that my family and friends love me...I just don't get the idea that I'm needed. I lost my dad when I was 15. I loved him, but I guess I didn't NEED him - we made it work after he died.

Sometimes, especially when I'm depressed, I don't feel like the weight of all this is worth it for my family. I know they love me, but wouldn't it be a better scenario for them if they didn't have to put up with the depression, with its anxiety, anger, and apathy? If we don't have an activity scheduled with the kids, I don't take them anywhere - and I don't play with them at home because there are too many things that have to get done to make the house run. Dinner, cleanup, laundry - it takes everything I've got just to get those things done...I don't have anything leftover for my family. My husband is great - he's fun with them, passionate about things he shares with them, takes them to do things with him. I guess when I think about how I'm NEEDED around here, it just feels like we could just pay someone to contribute what I do for my family...