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Old Jul 16, 2014, 01:01 PM
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Hellion Hellion is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Apr 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,794
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Jay View Post
I think I am already starting to resent him a bit. I look at him sat doing nothing after I've been working all day and it makes me so mad. I just don't know what I can say or do to make him sort things out. He tells me he is trying and that it's getting him down, he just wants constant sympathy but I can't bring myself to give it to him any more because I am starting to feel like he brings it all on himself. I know how rough the job market is, but he could have stayed in college and have just a year left until he could be a fully qualified plumber. He could have worked for himself then if he couldn't find a job. It just seems like he doesn't really want to work even though he says he does.
I don't know or want to assume, but based on the thread thus far...It almost seems like he could have a case of depression, which would really suck. But then he'd probably need help with that to help with finding work and what not.

I don't know i just haven't really heard of many people who flat out refuse to work, who can....Is he consistently applying for work? Has he worked in the past long enough to collect unemployment? If it does have to do with depression its unlikely he brings it all on himself......how do you know he could have stayed in college? why did he drop out?

Also working for oneself is much, much easier said than done...not everyone who is unable to find employment has the ability or resources to just up and employ them-self. But yeah unless he's got something else going for him like rich parents who still fund his living, or a trust fund or something giving him enough money to live comfortably with...I sort of doubt he really doesn't want a job.

Then again if he really just is being lazy and what not, then that really is unfair to you....but if there's legitimate issues here it might not all be stuff he can change or a case of bringing it on himself.

Also though its up to you to decide what you want in a relationship...if he's too unstable and you need more stability, well it might not be meant to be...unless he is being lazy and would be willing to put more effort into life and the relationship then it could improve. But if he's set in his ways it likely wouldn't change...Also if its due to mental problems like depression and what not truth be told it might be an ongoing struggle, he might lack the ability to become as stable as you're wanting him to be in which case either you'd have to relax your standards a bit or I don't see anything other than a resentful relationship growing.
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Little Jay