He is an abusive alcoholic, and I get in the way of his drinking.
His mistress, the bottle is more important than me. His anger and resentment
take over when he drinks, and he lashes out at me. I'm trying to leave him,
but we have been together for 35 years, and my whole life, business, farm
is all enmeshed. This is the straw that broke the camel's back. In a way, it's a gift.
But it's so hard to keep hearing his voice saying these things over and over.
I know I'm not perfect, not 30 years old anymore, but I do have attributes.
He tore down my body part by part. It was awful. Yes he is a coward and not much of a man. He would never go to therapy with me again, tried that. Nothing will ever feel right again, I dont need them to, I just want to leave him.