This means a lot to me, mkac. Thank you. I have seen you make incredible progress too.

I think I know what my problem is. When I feel connected to my T, and she is at the same time connected to me (I can tell), it feels so amazing. It doesn't FEEL like therapy. Like when we talk about art. But then the hour is over and reality sets in, except it never totally sets in for me because the session IS real. I suppose this is my black and white thinking. I know it's illogical, but I see it that way. Yet I know she would say that right now she hasn't changed her feelings about me and that we have a good relationship. Therapeutic relationship! And those two words bring on the tears again.