Thanks, Clara22 - I think that falls in with what my T was talking about with me today. Suppressing versus expressing, and how that's an ongoing trigger for me for depression. When I talk about the idea of 'needing' someone with others, I'm often left feeling like I either just don't get it, or that I'm wired differently. I have a lot of self judgment about my differences from others, so it's really hard for me to hear others say things that seem like a common experience that I don't get. I wonder if the 'difference' I'm perceiving may actually just be an adaption I developed early in life.

And I completely agree about the disconnect between society's word and actions, especially with regard to how we value people and how we express that. Sorry it's so hard for you right now, freefallin.