Well I guess it's been a bad day and a half actually. Started yesterday afternoon. Wasn't really a big deal but a conversation that put me in a bad mood. Made me want to cut again. And today has just been all over bad. Got up late and several work issues. Makes me want to cut even more. Had the automatic response of 'hey, why don't you just kill yourself' too but that was just a kneejerk reaction. I keep finding myself looking at my scars and just wanting to create more. Wanting to get a proper cut, see the blood, feel the pain, and just the release of it all.

Haven't cut in about a month and a half I think, I can't really remember dates too well. It's not been for lack of wanting to though. A change of circumstances means I no longer have a time and space I know I can cut without being disturbed. Not sure how long I can hold out on the urges for now, I don't think it will be much longer...