Hello,

My wife and my sister do not get along. They never have. My wife thinks that my sister and I are way too close and that my sister is jealous of the relationship that my wife and I have. My sister did not like my wife from the beginning of our relationship and felt that my wife and I moved in together too soon and that they didn't know enough about her. This has been going on for years, my wife and I have been together for 13 years 8.5 of which we have been married. In that time my sister was in an accident and became paralyzed from the chest down. My wife and I helped her in every way possible, but my sister seems to forget that and focuses on the slights, real or perceived that my wife puts upon her. From time to time things flare up and right now we are in the middle of a huge flare up and it stems from words that my wife and sister had on a recent trip to Florida where my sister lives. It was something that got blown out of proportion as usual but now I'm in the middle. My wife just wants to move on. My sister wants to write an email to my wife laying out all of the slights that my wife has committed against her. She’s wanted to do this in the past and I’ve always managed to stop it out of selfishness and not wanting to have the boat rocked. I don’t think I can stop it this time.

We have a family wedding coming up in about three weeks and the current status is that my sister doesn’t want to even speak to us (she’s currently mad at me for betraying her trust on a financial issue that I told my wife about).

I’m at a loss as to what to do or how to handle it. If I support my wife then I push my sister further away then she already is, if I support my sister I push my wife away. My wife and I don’t really fight much about other things, but this issue. Do I just let my sister have her say and let the chips fall where they may? Do I try and broker a peace? Do I do nothing? Please help.
Thank you.