You are suffering. I know how you feel; I went through the same thing until I lost it. But even after I lost it I was able to fake it so no one knew I was struggling. Please seek help now - you are prolonging your suffering by holding it all inside.

Finding a tdoc that you are comfortable with can take some work, but do it, it is so worth it. Write down a list of questions you feel are important. Things like:
* What are their boundaries outside of sessions?
* Are they accessible by phone, email, text?
* What type of therapy does the tdoc practice (Gestault, Freud, ...) and what does that mean in terms of your treatment?
* Does his/her practice deal with what you need?
* Does the tdoc accept your insurance?

You want someone you feel a certain level of comfort with initially and you could build a trusting relationship with. When I was looking for a tdoc it was important to me that it was a female, that she seemed to care about me and she was accessible to me. From there I built a trusting relationship with her. I was fortunate I found my tdoc after just a few calls.

Since you have difficulty opening up write out what you want to tell the tdoc. Writing it all out will also ensure you include everything. Ask the tdoc to read it if you are unable to. I would suggest starting the note out with what you wrote - "I've always know(n) that something is not quite right but I don't know what that thing is. I have a list of symptoms ranging from procrastination to social anxiety and I'd like to get a doctor's help diagnosing my issues. The problem is that I have a hard time opening up to anyone about how I truly feel and I'm not sure that I can open up to a doctor to get diagnosed. From the outside, I seem perfectly normal: married, a successful career with several promotions. Inside is a different story." A good tdoc will know how to help you through this discomfort.

A good tdoc will suggest you see your GP for a thorough exam with blood work to rule out anything physical. Hormones and the thyroid can cause some of the symptoms you have.

Good luck