spoke to my mom the other day on msn chat
i rarely see her or speak to her
im not sure what lead me to actually communicate with her
i mean she sent the first msg
but why did i respond
anyway
she said she was a bad mother
she said she was bad cos she is never around to take care of me
she said that im strong though
and can look after myself
i said i learnt to be independent from them
i said dont worry about it
when really i wanted to scream at her
tell her how much i really hate her
and how much misery she has caused
she is still with him
she doesnt care
she never will
and i will never matter anymore than i ever have
i will only be a fading memory in her mind
but she will stay with him
chose him over me as she always has
sometimes i just am so much more upset and angry at her than i am at him
why coodnt my mom just love me
just be there
protect me
hold me
care for me
why did it have to be like this...
everyone loves my mom but me
and yeah shes sweet and caring just not to me
i have a trillion wishes and i know that not one of them will ever come true