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14 years of my life have been wasted, & I don't have a life anymore, no friends no family no degree no nothing, & I can't find proper therapy! Or is it that I don't have enough will to find therapy? Or is it that my OCD keeps stopping me from continuing to find proper therapy? Or what or what or what? I don't know what to do anymore with my life…

One possibility might be to check out Douglas Bloch's on-line depression counseling services. You will find his website at: Healing From Depression, Overcoming Anxiety, Self-help Books, Mental Illness, Portland, Oregon Depression Support Groups . Mr. Bloch is a depression survivor & author who now counsels others with depression. I don't know what his fees are like. This is something you would have to find out. Earlier this afternoon I opened a Thread in the Depression Forum with a link to a playlist of his YouTube videos. You could take a look at these & see what you think.