My issues with sex go as far back as soon as I started having sex as a teenager. Well, before that, because of what my dad had done to me as a child, and he had tried again when I was 12, he was drunk and he tried lifting up my shirt, I screamed no at him and ran up the stairs to my room and locked my door. I don't know how long I stayed locked in there. I was so scared that he was trying to do that to me again. After that, I made sure never to be left alone with my father. After that happened, my family had just moved to Phoenix from a small town in upstate NY and taken me away from everything I knew and all my friends. The new friends i had made I thought all the girls were so much prettier than me, and I was so fat. Gosh, my sister for years had been telling me how fat I was. Even though I was starting to loose weight, I still didn't look like those girls. They were mature, and gorgeous. I was just a little fat girl. So when this older guy in the apartments came around, I thought he was gorgeous. Of course, he was twice my age, he was in his early 20's and I was in the 7th grade, but I had a huge crush on him. But of course he would never likever me, he was way too old for me. But then he started talking to me, and flirting with me, and he kissed me. Oh my gosh, I was in love! I couldn't believe he actually liked me. Then one night, he came to my bedroom window, and took the screen off, and knocked, and when I opened it ,he came in of course, and after that I had no idea what we were doing. I was scared and I didn't know what to say. I just layer there. And then he left, and I cried. I've never told anyone that, ever. It makes me sick to think of what I did. I can't believe I just let him in and let him do that when I was that age. Why didn't I say no?