I've been there in the past. It's not where I am right now...right now I cry when anyone I know tries to look at me too closely. If I make eye contact with my husband, I end up in tears. I'm avoiding Skyping or talking on the phone with any of my other family/friends because of it. If I try not to cry, it gets all bottled up and makes my throat ache. I can't even try not to cry right now.

I hate it both ways. When I hurt so much, I can't cry at all and everything just feels utterly hopeless, it's every bit as awful. I think the release of crying would be beneficial, but then when I'm like I am now, it doesn't seem like it releases anything...the well is still every bit as full, and I just end up unable to breathe through my nose with raw eyes and nostrils from all the tissue and a headache.

My T suggested I try to go get some cheap plates at a thrift store today so I can do something physical with my emotions (throw/break them someplace safe) that lets off some of the steam in the pressure cooker...don't know if I will, but maybe it would help me to incorporate these emotions into a more all-over, physical response.

Do you do anything else that helps to get your emotions out? I do find that writing it out here is helpful to me. It's a safe environment where I can put out there anything that I'm thinking or feeling, and there are no repercussions (i.e., I'm not hurting/burdening my loved ones, or saying things that are depression-driven that I'll want to take back later).