(trigger warning for mention of self-harm and suicide)



Recently, I've opened up to one of my very close friends about my problems with self-injury. She's been a huge supporter during my recovery from mental illness, in fact she even convinced me to go to a partial hospital when I was suicidal, so I felt pretty comfortable opening up to her about this subject.

It came up when she invited me to go swimming at her house. Because I would be wearing a swimsuit, I just gave her a head's up that I had some red marks on my legs from self-harm, so she wouldn't be allowed. This lead to her revoking my invitation to her house, and then a full-blown argument, which was eventually resolved peacefully and rationally. Since we've resolved our fight, I've noticed that she's been talking to me less and less. At first, I thought she was just caught up with work, but once she has the time we're able to talk via text or phone calls, but it's been a few weeks since the incident, and now I'm becoming paranoid that she's avoiding me because of my instability, which is triggering my fear of abandonment.

I'm at a loss at what I should do. Normally, I would just confront her about it and ask her if she was trying to avoid my emotional baggage, but I'm afraid that I might come off as attacking her, and I'd hate to ruin my friendship with her. She's saved my life; I can't imagine my life without her. Do any of you have advice on what I should do?