Masterson points to abandonment depression as being at the root of BPD. I just found a book, "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" that goes through 5 stages of abandonment - really I think they mean like 5 stages of grieving not that it takes 5 stages to become abandoned, just 5 stages of reaction. It also goes through techniques to cope with the trauma. The stages are Shattering, Withdrawl, Internalizing the Rejection, Rage, and Lifting.

I've only just started it, but it looks very applicable - just ratched it up a notch. I'm thinking from my skimming it may even use some DBT. I'm only on the 2nd chapter which is about shattering and it lists responses to abandonment in this stage as a feeling of having sustained a heart wound, arousal of your biological self-defense system, operating on survival instinct, split thinking, symbiotic feelings, suicidal fantasies and thoughts of death, somatic sensations, shame, and shock. She had some zinger insights in these areas like, "The concept of death serves as an escape frantasy; it is the only way [people] can imagine an end to the pain. ... The idea that we could end the pain if we wanted to restores a sense of control that we have temporarily lost."

I haven't gotten further yet, but in skimming, it looks like the author will address the positives of each stage and how they can be put to positive use in our lives as well as coping skills for each stage. For Shattering she mentions being in the moment (Mindfulness).

Is this resonating for anyone else?