So, I'm brand new to this bipolar diagnosis. I was diagnosed major depressive about 15 years ago, and just now at the age of almost 33 has my primary care doctor (been seeing her for about 3 years) realized something more was going on. We're still in the initial phases, she has conferred with their in-house mental health specialist, but I have not met him yet.

In a way, the tendency for antidepressants to trigger mania worked in my favor. I've always had "up" periods, but always just assumed they were periods where my depression was lifted and that was what was "normal". About 6 months ago, my Zoloft stopped working for me, so I was switched to Trazadone for a month, but we quickly ended that as it made me very angry and aggressive. I've spent the last 5 months on a low dose of citalopram. It worked ok, but I started having memory issues and anxiety attacks, along with periods of paranoia and even worse insomnia than my norm. When I was in a couple of months ago, my primary care doc asked off-handedly if I had issues with money during the times my insomnia was bad. I answered no at the time, but started paying closer attention and realized that it WAS happening. I started researching WHY she would ask me that, and was lead to research bipolar further. It clicked, like a light went on. So I made an appointment to see her again, and had that appt today. In the meantime, I started realizing that stuff I'd just written off previously as my mind being silly might actually be symptoms. Like thinking everyone was watching and judging me. Even just yesterday I almost skipped going to rest because I was convinced for some reason my neighbor would peek in my bedroom window and scold me for lying on my bed in my underwear (we're mid-heat wave). One evening I had myself convinced we owned 2 brown cats (we own 3 cats, none of which are brown). I asked her today why she'd asked about the money stuff, and she confirmed that she'd been considering bipolar. We talked for awhile and compared my symptoms and agreed it was probably the right diagnosis. But while she was comfortable treating my depression diagnosis, she's not comfortable heading treatment for the bipolar.

So the tentative diagnosis is that the Celexa triggered a hypomanic episode. My primary care, following the advice of the psych and my own research and suggestions (love love love my doc for the sole reason she's fabulous at taking my opinions into consideration without making me feel stupid about researching in the first place), is tapering me of the Celexa and put me on Geodon 40mg twice a day. I'm supposed to follow up with the psych in the next month for a formal interview/diagnosis, and to formalize a treatment plan.

Meanwhile, what have been your experiences with the Geodon? It was one of the two I proposed to my doctor based on the comparative side effects and my insurance coverage, though I originally suggested pairing it with Effexor, which she did not prescribe. After dealing with the depression for several years unmedicated before I got back on treatment for it, I'm a little nervous to be going forward without an antidepressant in my arsenal. Maybe the psych will add something back in later, I don't know.

My doctor and the pharmacist were both really dismissive of some of the serious side effects ever actually happening, and really vague when I directly asked what I could expect, what would warrant a phone call to my doctor, and what would warrant an immediate trip to the ER. Maybe those of you more familiar can fill in the blanks? I've got mixed feelings about this right now, as it turns out my ENTIRE support system (husband, parents, and every single person who watches my kids for me) is going out of town this weekend. So I'm nervous to be starting this med right now, but also worried about the Celexa continuing to push me ever more manic at a time I will have no one around to call me out on my behaviors and it's just me and the kids. I've reached out to my extended network of friends to let folks know this is happening, so hopefully someone is keeping an eye on me.

So, after that novel, hello! lol I guess I'll be seeing you all around the boards. Any advice regarding the Geodon is appreciated.