Uhm, is it possible that she has a personality disorder? She sounds a bit narcissistic just based on the "you need to learn to take criticism better" quip. Yep, grew up with two narcissists who constantly put everyone else down, and expected, even told everyone that it was their problem that they couldn't take constant criticism!

I know that guilt feeling all too well. It doesn't really get better while you're in the presence of the disordered person. They just wear you down and blame you for everything. My father went over 35 years playing the same game you are playing right now..... "If only I do this, then everything will be ok...." Well, it never works that way. You can NEVER do enough to make these people happy.

Maybe you should visit Out of the Fog? It may be a big eye opener.