i am new here and i don't know what to do. i was officially diagnosed with major depression almost 10 years ago although ive been in therapy on and off since i was 8 (i'm 33 now). i've been prescribed meds in the past but can't afford them. therapy either. no insurance and no money.
things have been really bad lately and i don't have any support from anyone in my life. no one in my family takes me seriously and they tell me i'm exaggerating or being dramatic or "sitting on the pity pot" when i try to talk to them about the screwed up things in my head. they don't understand that it's self loathing not self pity. i admitted cutting myself for the first time to anyone the other day, my older brother, his response was "ok". he says i just need to change the way i think and everything will be fine. when i tell him its not that easy he says i'm copping out. my other brother tries to help but he's f-ing clueless and often ends up telling me the same crap - "just think different" "dont let things bother you". bs like that. my sister is in therapy herself but it doesn't seem to be helping her very much. i feel really alone in this whole thing and it's hard knowing that i have a big family and they all love me but can't or won't understand and support me. it makes me sad and angry, and it makes me want to do the destructive things more, the cutting, the drinking, etc. i don't know what to do or how things will ever get better if i am in this all alone. is there anyone else out there who has dealt with this from family members? i just don't understand why they act like they do and it only makes things worse.