Hello sh50, welcome to Psych Central.

I don't think there is a medical term for that unless there is some sort of anxiety that comes along when you feel you have to take a step back. Do you feel anxious at these times? It sounds like you prefer and enjoy to take the lead at times. I would talk to your wife and explain that you would like to do the organising and coordinating sometimes. A good partnership is about communication and being able to work things out for the good of both of you. If you always have to take the back seat then that doesn't do much for your confidence.