Please run. Please.

There are loads of people with trust issues, I had them too due to my ex being abusive, but I worked my butt off to learn how to allow MYSELF to trust my bf. I didn't make him jump through hoops, and what ludicrous hoops you've been faced with too!

Furthermore your bf has ZERO inclination to trust you, that's why he refuses therapy...
From what you've written I doubt its about trust at all, its about control, dictatorship, and using trust as a smoke screen to excuse his behaviour.

Your bf is abusive, I agree with panda. He's manipulating you into isolation, and when his attempts fail, he's outright trying to sabotage your friendships by contacting your friends behind your back. He is being relentless on his quest to isolate you, and in his mind "own" you, and once he breaks down your resolve and achieves that?

Well then you're most probably in physical danger after that.

Please take it from me, run.

It only goes downhill from here...
Nothing you do or say will placate him ( I tried for years with a very similar character and ended up black and blue for days) nothing will prove to him that he should treat you better.

Please, run. Be smarter than I was and save yourself.