Get into counseling for YOURSELF. I stayed for 31 years with a controller/abuser, until I found the book which saved my life: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans....controllers are excruciatingly INsecure and will do and say anything to keep you under control. If you stay with him, you will spend the rest of your life explaining that you were/were not doing what you are being accused of. Most abusers rarely change or are willing to recognize their behavior is wrong.