Hi Fenerous and Welcome to PC!

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time right now. Please know that things can get better for you! There are lots of people here to attest to that

I have taken both clonazepam and lorazepam for anxiety. I find them both to be effective with little or no side affects (for me). They can be a saving grace when it comes to the issues that you are having to endure. Of course with any medication there can be side affects. Here is a link that will give you some information. http://www.medicinenet.com/clonazepam/article.htm

As far as feeling like "yourself", providing you have no side affects, I think you will find that you do feel like yourself on them. At least that is what I have experienced. I hope it is the same for you.

As for working towards getting better, sometimes we have to do things that we don't feel real comfortable with in order to get to the point where we are feeling better.

I wish you all the best. Keep posting and meeting folks, I know a lot of them have some wonderful ideas on self help

Hugssssss
J