I definitely think we do tend to do things a bit more "intensely" but well.... are those intense relationships ever really healthy for us? haha. I'm just reflecting on my own life atm... I've had a lot of intense relationships. And afterwards, realized just how unequal they were and that I was really rather poorly treated. But the relationship I'm in right now? It's healthy, my happiness matters as much as his does. But it's not intense. Sometimes I've been questioning it the way that you seem to be.... but you know, at least for me... the lower intensity demonstrates more stability and long-term potential, because he's staying with me even without it.

And hey - you've only mentioned one thing about him that really bothers you... and you followed that by saying that he's trying to get help with it! Which sort of rocks, so many people won't seek help!

Is there any chance that you're a bit hypomanic? When I'm in an up (and it's pretty common for us all) I just want to bail on EVERYHING to go pursue something else. I never do, because I can sit down and force myself to do pros/cons.... and the "But I WANT TO" argument doesn't last too long when I start adding in things like "will go broke" (gotta love being practical at my core!).

Good luck though!! I'd definitely talk to your T about things to see if they can help you sort out what you actually really want.. and whether or not this is just fear creeping in.