What types of meds, are you taking, that your mom is asking if you 'want' them? What were the initial directives?

Stinks, feeling the loneliness, like you do. Your parents don't have adequate health insurance coverage, it sounds like. And you are clearly in pain. I've learned that such intense anger is symptomatic of underlying repression of a history of reasons for being angry.

I recognize, through one of the responses, a sense of hesitancy for a shared link. This is more an informational one, displays you aren't alone in your feelings, and what to do.

I don't sense a sense of rejection from this thread, hopefully, you aren't sensing that? It's a tough world, at times, recognizing the difference between an outright snub or what's an interest or concern. It's such a gray, gray world, we live in. I've learned, in life, that people come to accept others, for the unique individuals that they are, accepting both the positive alongside the differences.

Having Suicidal and Homicidal Thoughts | Ask the Therapist

Hoping your parents take this as serious, as you are expressing, and just go get you the help you so deserve and crave. They may need a bit of information and education about psychology and medications, to help support and understand what you struggle with.