I'm sorry, geez. I do think it's something you need to discuss with your T. Are you afraid of doing the EMDR or were you really fine? Taking a break is okay but it sounds like you really didn't want to, or were conflicted.

I can understand your statement "It's easier for me to hate her than need her." After my session this week I hated my T too, probably because she can't give me what I want. I still need her, but it's useless to need her, so it's easier to say "I hate you" in my mind, and in my thread title!

Are you ashamed of the issue (about your H) or do you honestly think she's not qualified to help you? I know you used to see a marriage counselor, right?

I doubt that your T is sick of you. I hope that you can muster up the courage to make an appointment again, or perhaps the break IS a good idea because of your physical health? I understand being conflicted; it's the story of my life.