I am just a ball of anger right now! I work from home 30 hrs/wk. My husband has a just that has seasonal changes. Right now is his busy season, so he generally works 12 days on, 2 days off. This pay period he got a surprise third day off, so he was off yesterday, today and tomorrow. I was thrilled when he first told me, because I've had the kids basically 24/7 since the middle of June (we went to visit his family, without him, so missed the opportunity to take advantage of his last days off). I was looking forward to the chance to not have to do all the drop off, pick up, and afternoon activity running around with the kids for a few days.

Well, he has a friend who offered him some free equipment for one of his hobbies if he could go pick it up. So he decided to do that on his first day off. It was a 10-hour round trip drive, plus about an hour for stops and getting the equipment. So yesterday was no relief for me. Today started out with him dropping the kids off (yay!). I asked him before he left to get some cash while he was out for a delivery we were getting this morning. He came back, but had forgotten to get the money. No biggie...he went back out for it. He accidentally took out nearly 10x the amount I asked for ($300 instead of $35). We don't bank locally, so we can't redeposit it. Frustrating, but I just figured we could spend it instead of using our card until it's gone (groceries, gas, kids' camp fees, etc.). Instead, he tells me he wants to keep it so that he can use it on an anniversary gift for me without me knowing where he shopped (I do all the finances). This stresses me out, because we don't have anything at all budgeted for our anniversary yet (it's months away still). And I think that's a lot of money to spend anyway. Oh well...guess I'll just have to figure out where that money's going to come from. Will do that while I'm figuring out how to conjure up more money for the fuel budget, since the trip to get "free" equipment" cost about $120 in gas.

He did agree to take care of picking up our daughter from camp today and running her around to her activities. I told him the times everything has to happen this afternoon. He spent the rest of the morning going through his new equipment and what he can do with it. He came in repeatedly to talk to me about various things related to this hobby and his new equipment. He went to talk to a local shop specializing in this hobby to get a quote for making a custom piece that's missing from this "free" equipment. He came home after lunch and talked it ALL over with me again (probably about 30 total minutes of my work time today was spent listening to him talk about this hobby which doesn't interest me at all, and about very specific plans he has which I can't follow at all). Finally he thanked me for listening and acknowledged that he was geeking out on it all. I smiled and told him we were pretty much at my max for this stuff. He then continued about it another 10 minutes, while I practiced deep breathing to keep my chest from getting tight and becoming visibly agitated.

He finally went outside 30 minutes before he's supposed to pick up our daughter. He starts doing yardwork - mowing the lawn, weed whacking, etc. I notice about 5 minutes after we're supposed to have picked her up that he's starting a new machine outside. I start to go let him know, but can't get his attention easily. Super pissed off now, I jump in the car to go pick her up. While we're gathering her things he calls and says he thought he was supposed to go get her. GGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! He thought the time to get her was 30 minutes after the actual time. I explained that we were already late when I noticed he hadn't left, so I just went to do it.

I'm trying really hard to figure out here whether it's just the quick-flashing anger that comes with my depression flaring up right now, or what. I feel like I'm white hot, and even though they've already left to go to her afternoon things, I'm still raging about all this! I feel like he just has no attention for any of the details that matter to me or the kids. If it doesn't impact his job or either of his two major hobbies, it just doesn't make his priority list. Not listening closely to what time he has to get kids, not paying attention to not overspending, not realizing that he's using up my work hours talking about things he knows I don't care about or understand.

Oh, and tomorrow? He's going to pick up a "free" refrigerator for a friend in town for his hobby, which will go (along with the truckload of new equipment) in our garage. We have the space for it now, since the $1,000 I earned doing some extra work this winter was spent not on the kitchen upgrades I've been wanting (replacing a leaking sink, updating counters & bad linoleum), but on a new shed for the backyard to put all the clutter from the garage so that we would have room to put some of 'our' things that take up a lot of room in what is supposed to be my office at home. Guess we spent my extra work money on a shed to move things out of the garage so his equipment and new refrigerator can have enough space so he can dedicate more time and money to his hobby.

I AM SOOOOOO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!! I almost never spend time on hobbies anymore, because I make sure I get my work done first. Guess what...the work's never done. And I can't just put off meals, grocery shopping and laundry like you can yardwork - there is no "I'll just do it tomorrow" for dinner. So I'm angry, resentful, jealous, and frustrated. This sucks!