Holy rant, batman! Sorry for all that...I needed to get it out, and wanted to not unleash it all on my husband. I feel guilty not being interested in his hobby, because he really wants to share his excitement about it with me (or anyone, for that matter). I know he thinks that getting all this free equipment will make me happy, because it means he's not going out to buy it all. I do appreciate that, but we honestly wouldn't have purchased all this anyway - it's free stuff, so he's super excited, but there are things he can't use at all, and things he can't use until he invests more in it. Mostly I'm pissed that he's dedicating so much brain power to this passion of his, and in the process losing track of the things that are important to the way our family functions, particularly when he's been talking about trying to lighten my load and pick up slack with the kids and stuff. It's like his intentions are there, but the actions don't follow through because his head is so clouded with all these dreams he's chasing right now.

Anyway, if you read any of that...thanks. I don't really know how to not be angry with him, and when I'm this depressed, it's a MAJOR struggle to mask that anger so that I don't blow up on him. And since I don't trust my emotions right now, I don't want to get pissed off and say something that I'll regret later or will make him feel bad when that's unnecessary. So it gets shoved into the bottle and corked. Which keeps me mad.