Thank you SO much for the quick replies. I know that I need to take the meds because it is well worth the risk, its just so hard to get the first pill down =(

I think maybe part of the issue is also that my Girlfriend just got back from Disney a week ago (over 1,000 miles from our town). And ever since she went there I feel so worthless, I mean I cant even go to best buy 2 miles away without feeling like im going to die. I think that also I feel if I take a med to get better im "admitting" that I can never have the lifestyle that she has as a "normal person", and that kills me inside.

She even said "maybe this will be a reason you want to get better", but personaly to me it kinda made things harder on me =(