Lemongrab.....although I understand you have Aspergers too, I think in your case, it must not be as severe, and obviously not combined with OCD. IMHO, I think you're being a little harsh with him.

I'm sorry the living arrangements didn't work out, even as you tried to do the things your brother requested...it's clear, he was not going to 'loosen up' with the issues he's dealing with. And the fact is, would it REALLY have been easier to have to move AFTER you got good and comfortable????

I think your brother is probably content with his life as he has it...you didn't mention him complaining, other than complaining about you and your bf. And as regimented as his life is, it probably gives him the structure he needs to carry on....you and your bf in constant attendance, no doubt thru him into a tail spin.

I also do appreciate that he is still trying to maintain a 'sort' of connection with you with his messages....and I also appreciate the level of stress this is having on you and your mother. I hope things work out for you in the end, but please don't blame your brother for something he clearly can't help. He was not the cause of you're having to move in with him in the first place, and while I'm sure the stress of the initial move is compelling, that doesn't absolve you of understanding the situation your brother found himself in, when you and your bf moved in.

I wish you well, and hope you find someplace just for you and your bf soon.