I recently moved back from the city to my hometown. My boyfriend and I were going to rent our own flat but we were unable to come up with the money for the rent deposit and so we lost out. My younger brother (18) is currently living in the house I lived in for 2 years until I moved. My father owns the house and he built it years ago for my grandparents, one who is now deceased and the other is in care.

So we moved in and I was warned that my brother, who also has Aspergers, is extremely fussy about the state of the house. It didn't take me long to realise he has severe OCD when it comes to cleanliness. You could not leave a cup or plate in the sink and he would freak out. He would spend his time wiping down counters and cleaning the kitchen cupboard doors with detergent, sweeping, mopping, etc. We tried our hardest to comply with his demands. We cleaned up after ourselves constantly and made sure the house was always pristine so he wouldn't get upset.

Despite our best efforts, he was constantly going next door to my mother's house and complaining to her about us. Instead of coming to speak to me face to face about things that he didn't like, he would go complain there: we were disrupting his routine, he felt like he couldn't play his music loud, we left a dish in the sink, he feels like his space is invaded, etc. Now bear in mind that before we moved in I asked him if it would be okay for us to live there, and he responded very positively, saying he would like to have us there. Within a week this had all changed. He is also obsessed with money and asked that we all have our own separate groceries: milk, tea, sugar, etc., right down to separate rolls of toilet paper. I told him that we are a family and families share, but again I complied with his request to keep him happy.

After a week I noticed he was going to my mom more and more even started sleeping there. Eventually it came out that he just could not handle us in his space anymore and one morning I got a message on my phone telling me that I must be out of the house by the end of the day before he gets home from work. Needless to say I was shocked, hurt and angry. I tried everything to tow the line, I did everything the way he wanted, I was being kicked out of the house by my younger brother after tiptoeing around him and it felt like a kick in the teeth.

My mom took us in and now I am no longer on speaking terms with my brother. He didn't even give the situation a chance. He could have waited a month or so to see if things would improve and at least give me a chance to settle in before he just threw me out. I feel what he did was disgustingly selfish and I now realise that he has absolutely no sense of family or understands the meaning of unity. He still tried to send me messages saying "no hard feelings, i just can't live with you" - I told him there are certainly hard feelings from me and I don't know how long it will take me to forgive him.

He has no friends and no social life. His world is going to work as an apprentice mechanic at my dad's business, coming home and fussing over the house. My boyfriend and I thought we could loosen him up a little, make him some friends, get him a life and maybe even a girlfriend. Now I hope he rots alone in this god forsaken house for the rest of his miserable sad little life.

My health has suffered so much in these last two weeks. After a harrowing move from the city 700km away to having to move again a week and a half later, I had to increase my anxiety medication and I am now sitting with severe flu as the stress has shot my immune system. My poor mother is under stress as she has to be the mediator of this whole situation and my father has expressed no interest in stepping in.

Basically my brother gets his way whenever he wants. My parents have a guilt complex because they divorced when he was 7 and he had a tough upbringing. But this kid has always had problems with authority. He was expelled from his schools and has a clear issue with authority, especially from women. He resents both me and my older sister for reasons unknown (and women in general, the only woman he seems to tolerate is my mother who he clings to constantly). He is unable to make friends or socialise effectively as his Aspergers is quite severe.

Now I understand all of this. I have Aspergers too. I understand he has issues and I tried to be as gentle with him as possible while I was living there, but what he did I just cannot forgive and forget. I don't know how to get past this and I need advice on what I should do from here because my family are all too subjective. They expect me to let things go in time and let everything go back to normal but I don't know how I can do that.