I understand how you feel. I also had a hard time letting people know how I really felt about myself and others. I was afraid of people judging me and treating me different because I felt I was "broken" and I didnt want anyone to know it. Not even my doc. A suggestion for you is to write a list of all the things you feel are not "right" about you or how you feel. Don't leave anything out. No matter how painful or strange it may seem. Make an appointment with your doc and say something along the lines of "I'm not sure what to think about this" and give him or her the note when you get there. There is a HUGE feeling of relief and accomplishment afterwards. Not to mention the sense of courage and respect I gained for myself and the trust and respect I now have for my doc. I've battled with trust my entire life. Still do. But I now know there is at least one person who I can fully trust. Without that first step of asking for help from the right person, I wouldn't have the courage to post on here. I hope u find your courage and are able to ask for the help you truly deserve.