I have searched many forums about this, tried to take my mind off things like this but it always comes back to it. My wife has no desire to please me. She is a mother, I am a father and that's it. I have wined and dined her, thrown money at her on expensive gifts, I complement her every day, she just isn't bothered. In fact years ago it got that bad that I tried everything also and then had an affair. That got messy and I felt horrible. We broke up and I left her. Then all of a sudden she wanted me again and had sex frequently with me in order to get me back. So since then I ended my affair and tried yet again to make my marriage work. 3 years later it is as stale as it ever gets. I can wait up to 3 months before I explode and complain. Then when it happens I feel like I've forced her or she's only doing it to shut me up. This has gone on for years and it makes me feel worthless and hideous.