When over the years a lot of people have come to not like me and now avoid me for a variety of reasons. Overly shy, being excessively nervous in talking to them.

When excessive drinking makes bad impressions.

When my face can change from being quite handsome to looking bizarre as in a mental case. I usually take really bad pictures except for selfies when I can control the mood.

When I seem to have charisma until they get to know me better and see a lack of personality quality there. Many or most people are attracted to me.

When I went through years of on off bad depression. Therapists didn't do much except for the time the meds snapped me right out a serious depression. Otherwise years have cured me for the most part.

When I was often so socially withdrawn and fearful people looked at me with a variety of disdainful strange looks.

When people take my shyness for aloofness and hate me in return.

When immaturity seems to define much of my personality or at least did in earlier years.

When in spite of all this I still get along quite well with many people and greatly enjoy social activities.

When I can be very happy by myself doing serious work on music or reading and feeding my head from different media.

I must be some kind of borderline person. I have outgrown much of this but I always wonder about myself and what the problem is or was. I sometimes think "Jesus was I fxxxed up!" I now see love as the all conquering remedy in all things. Making it work is another thing though.

I wish I had some answers but maybe even the pros don't know. I'm sure I share these things with many people.

Thanks for your thoughts