Why do I constantly just push my significant other away? What is wrong with me? I cannot even believe he is still with me and puts up with me and how I am, and still says he loves me, and that we will get though this, But I fear, there is nothing to get through. I don't know how to recover trust issues, and my mood swings are semi-controllable from the meds, but they still happen sometimes, and I treat him terribly when my mood shifts from happy to angry to sad. Why do I push him away? I think I feel I deserve to be alone, and that I am safer, better off that way, and won't hurt anyone that way. I love him so much though; but it pains me that I am slowly killing his happiness. I don't know, I am at the point, he deserves better, and I don't know, maybe it's best I am alone, with our 3 children. Alone. Felt that way my whole life; I am sure a lot of you out there can relate...

The sad part is he is the sweetest guy I know. He truly has a good heart.