View Single Post
 
Old Jul 17, 2014, 11:54 PM
waiting4's Avatar
waiting4 waiting4 is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: las vegas
Posts: 988
Quote:
Originally Posted by krisakira View Post
You need to find other ways to feel loved and wanted by her. That's what I did with my husband, because I love him very much and chose not to leave him despite the lack of frequent sex. I feel loved by him when we hold hands, when we have long conversations about nothing and everything, and when we hug and even go grocery shopping and work together as a team. I feel wanted when he says nice things to me, and when he wants to cuddle with me. There are other ways to get what you are seeking than sex. That's why a marriage can work in those other ways. But if that's not enough for you, you really need to consider what you would benefit from by having meaningless sex with another woman. I mean if it didn't work the first time, why consider it again? Let out your frustrations all you need to, that is what PC is for. Glad you have found this place to vent, and I see you have just joined. Know also, that people are going to have very different views, and not take things so lightly all the time. It is the attitude of people thinking their spouse owes them sex that makes for sexual abuse in marriages. I don't tolerate it at all. It's call coercion, which is basically manipulating someone or guilt tripping someone into having sex, which can be almost as damaging as real sexual assault. It was for me. So, just know other people have their opinions and emotions about certain issues. I was being blunt to make a point, not to abuse you like you have accused me of. You seem to need a wake up call. Something needs to change in your marriage, and I suggest you have counseling soon.
I'm glad you've found the place that brings you happiness with your husband. However, I think your comments WERE more sharp than required, and rather bitter tasting. I don't think the OP needed a 'wake up call'. He seems to be woken up to his dilemma quite unhappily, and I for one, understand why.

The subject he requested help on is a touchy one, and yes, people will disagree and base their opinions on personal experience, past and present. However, that does NOT give them the right to make another person feel small or ashamed in their feelings.

Feelings are neither right nor wrong...they are feelings and as human beings we have them, and deserve to have our feelings validated...not dismissed based on someone else's assumptions.

I truly believe you wanted to help. However, I also believe your methods were far more harsh than necessary...any response that causes another person to attempt to defend themselves..........IS NOT HELPFUL. Period.
__________________


Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception.
Thanks for this!
bighands, junkDNA, Kitteekat