I'm going to ignore others, just to continue talking about the subject with you. You say it's probably why you're here asking these questions, that it is a different story that she has used sex as a a way to get back at you. That's probably the story that needs to be told in order to understand the whole situation. I do not mean to say you would ever force your wife to do anything, but that is sometimes what happens in these situations. I'm thankful you have not. This is again, more than just sex, and you need to probably talk with a counselor about all this, because we are not getting the full picture here and are thus unable to really get a scope of the real problem that lies beneath. Have you ever asked her why she doesn't want sex? I mean, has she ever REALLY told you the truth as to why? That might be worth investigating during marriage counseling as well. Sometimes when we resent someone else, we withhold pleasurable things. This could be happening. I probably understand more than any one else here, your situation given both of us are in the same kind of marriage where the other person doesn't want sex as much. I am just trying to say that it can still work out. That is an option. You were seeking options, and I gave you one. Again though, that "different story" is probably the most important one at this point.