Thanks for your replies everybody especially Perna who has replied so comprehensively. Your tips about doing things together are well taken.

Husband wife was just an example. What I was getting as was that the behaviors that come to us naturally and spontaneously in a particular situation come sparsely or not at all in other situations. Even if there is no terminology for this, there must be some way of making forced behavior as good as natural behavior. Again, I am not in competition with my wife. I just wish I was more spontaneously smart with her on certain issues.

It happened to me long before in front of a super efficient boss. My natural exuberance and confidence took a nose dive in his presence and returned the moment I parted company with him and joined another company where the folks were not so super efficient. I am not aiming to be super efficient all the time but I wonder about this phenomenon. Einstein's relativity is everywhere I guess. We could be much more or less efficient in other environments