Exactly. Why not just shoot straight with him from the beginning? Why all the build up giving him false hope and then WHAM you ditch him for a cute boy (who is in all likelihood a scumbag anyway)?

It's amazing how everyone dances past the fact that he was just used and then discarded, like an old rag. Why does everyone think people with autism are OK to just be hurt and used, they have no feelings? Neuro-typicals would never do this to another neuro-typical, oh no, but to a guy with autism, yeah sure, why not? I mean he is a monster/machine anyway, he won't feel anything, right? Wrong! We are just as much human as you are! The worst thing about it is, we get hurt by others constantly and then on top of that mother nature gives us a condition that does not even allow us to express how much we hurt, we have to suffer within ourselves, because nobody else understands.

The truth here is that like with all of us with autism, nobody else could be bothered enough to treat us with respect and dignity like a normal human being, just because we're different. And, when something "better" comes along, it's straight to the scrapheap with us. Never mind all that happened before that.

I just hope one day when you realize how good a guy X really is, and how much of a loser R is, that X will perhaps find it in his heart to forgive.

This type of story is exactly the reason why I have decided to never even attempt having a relationship. The exact same thing will happen to me, and I know it.

I'm sorry, but I'm not going to sit here and watch everybody tear this guy (X) apart, just because you fail to understand him. All "crime" I can see that he "committed" was to be there for you in your time of need. Now all of you sit here and say "ugh, argh, o gross...etc. etc. I can't stand X, I've been X, X is a loser, blah blah blah". That's ridiculous. The next thing you'll probably say is "Oooh, help, X is stalking me!"

But that's OK, one day when R, the oh so cute, popular, womanizer lifts his hands to you and slaps you around or whatever, or tells you "Hey! Get the hell out of my life!" and drops you for a cute girl, then you'll know what X felt. And, don't say "Oh, there's nothing going on between me and R" I know that you wish there was, just like every other girl does. I don't even have to meet him to know what kind of guy he is. Typical.

Look, I don't have a problem with the fact that, yeah, you are allowed to choose who you like, I know I do too. But, and I can't believe nobody else on this post can recognize this, you did not leave X simply because you're not interested in him, you left him because you wanted to "trade-up", you wanted something better (R), because you feel you are better than him, and you deserve better than him, that's what this is all about. You just like R because all your girlfriends do too, and it's a competition to see who can sleep with him first. You might be able to lie to everyone else here, but not to me. I think you know deep down in your heart that you did hurt him, and now you seek justification here from other people to say "it's OK, oh shame, you poor thing, you didn't do anything wrong".

As for your question, I don't think you are a bad person, just maybe mislead a little, by society and by your friends, and sadly, that today is the norm, especially amongst the youth. I understand that normal people succumb to something called peer-pressure, and I probably will never understand that, because I was never in a social group long enough to be subjected to it. So, I guess that will probably be very hard to deal with and say "NO" to those who are forcing you. I'm sorry if it appears that I am attacking you here, but I promise you I am not, I am trying to get you to see further than what's on the surface always. Not everything can be said or seen with the eye. The most important information in life is often non-verbal and non-visual. I tell you these things because nobody else seems to care enough to do so. I also try to help you so that you don't fall in the same trap that 99% of the other young people will. I know I speak from the viewpoint of guy X, because I suppose you could say I was guy X too. The thing about it is, the same thing happened to me, I also loved a girl and then lost her to a guy like "R". At first I also just accepted it and thought, oh well, you know, he is a better guy than me. But, you don't understand. I knew the type of guy he was, any guy knows how to identify such guys. I knew he was going to hurt her somewhere in the near future, either cheat on her or use her or something. And, I was right. A few months later I heard they broke up, he did some stuff, etc. etc. That broke my heart so much, because here was this girl I cared so much about, and I knew now the pain she was going through, because I felt it too before. And, you know what was the worst thing about it all? I couldn't even be there for her because we were 1000 miles apart. I don't want the same thing to happen to you, I know guy R is going to do the same to you if you keep hanging on to him.

So, what am I saying? Must you date guy X now? Must you force yourself to like guy X now? No. That is not what I'm saying. The fact remains that you don't find X romantically attractive, and like everyone has said here, that's OK! There's nothing wrong with that. Here I agree with the other posters 100%. But, you should sit down and discuss this with him for goodness sake! Don't just drop him and then run to guy R and then allow X to see you two together and that will "hopefully give him the message loud and clear". That hurt him more than you will ever realize. That's like throwing someone who can't swim into the deep end of a pool and then saying "well, if he drowns, he at least will then know loud and clear that he can't swim". I don't have a problem with the fact that you don't like guy X, but I have a problem with the way you handled it. If you feel he is not good enough for you, don't project that onto him as though it's his fault, it's nobody's "fault". You cannot say it's X's own fault that you don't like him. You traded-up to R, so be honest about it. Don't cover up that fact by saying, "oh, I don't know what X's problem is".

And, your other question - are you shallow? Well, you must ask yourself what is shallow? But, more importantly, let's say you are (if you think that you just went for R because of his looks), is that a crime? NO! There's nothing wrong with choosing a guy just for his looks, but then be honest about it. Say, I choose him for his looks. And, then you have to deal with the consequences of that choice. If your relationship with R is crap, then you must remember you chose him. But, if you realize it was a mistake, is that the end of the road? Again NO! Then you have to ask yourself, do you seek looks or love? Everybody grows spiritually, you are still young, it will still happen. You'll see, in a few years time, you'll change and then your preference won't be for R, it will be for guys like X! I know you don't want to believe me, but people do change like that! If you seek love and friendship, and you realized that was with X, then you just have to hope X will have you back. But then, remember, you are not allowed to hate X if he doesn't want you anymore, because he had to adapt to deal with rejection, so he has also changed.

Our choices are immensely powerful. Our actions can change the world. We choose our own destiny, and it also affects others. I don't know why people don't get this, even though it is as simple as A, B, C and has probably been said a million times. Actions have consequences. You cannot do anything in life without there being some repercussion. You can't just play with people's feelings. People might not show it, but they get hurt. There is too much a culture nowadays that says, oh just forget about it, they'll get over it, or it doesn't matter what I think or do. That is so untrue. Just speak the truth, especially to yourself, and then you will see how simple life will become.

And, the rest of you guys can do whatever you feel necessary, you can petition to have my account banned on this site or whatever, I don't care (it's probably what you will do now anyway). If that is the treatment I will receive for pointing out the truth, then so be it. But, I, sure as hell, am not going to sit here and watch some autistic guy (who has been through enough in the hell of a life that it is) get torn apart, simply because he does not understand, and want to participate in, the stupid social games that is our pathetic human existence on this planet, and what our society, especially the youth (and I'm ashamed to say I am young too) has degenerated into.