Ugh, I'm at my wits' end. I only made it to class 2 days out of 5 this week, and one day I was 40 minutes late. I go to bed by 10 (have to be up by 7), set an alarm for 5:30, 6:00, 6:30, 7:00, 7:07, and 7:15 on my phone, use an app that sends out an alarm when I'm at the lightest point in my sleep cycle...I do all of this, and I STILL can't get up. And I've cut my zyprexa from 11 mg to 5 mg, so you'd think I'd be less sedated...nope.

Just need to vent. I feel like this is totally outside of my control. I hate knowing that something so easy as getting up on time, something that most adults are able to do without a problem, is such a challenge for me. I feel like a different person when I'm asleep. I can't make the decision to wake up, because my dreams are more real than the waking world.

I so easily could have gotten an A in the summer class I'm taking (got nearly a perfect score on the last two exams!) but I got a zero on one exam because I slept through it (ugh), a zero on one in-class writing assignment because I slept through that, and my participation grade sucks since I'm never in class.

I hate it.