I'm sorry for this.
That word...."hate" is not becoming of you. There is such a finality to it.
Negative stuff bothers me...but I know your a really nice person and your just feeling crappy right now.I know you are so much better than that by your thoughtful posts. Please don't "hate' things...even Depression. It''s an uneasy partner...but often partner it is. Accept it and "call a truce."...for now. Just a thought for you.
I pray you feel better soon!
m.b.