Oh Sky, you didn't do ANYTHING dear. Mine is similar to you and from childhood and I so understand your every word. Even what you just wrote about how you feel in sessions. I am SOOOOO afraid that he will notice that I feel the exact same way as you do. I want so badly to just cry in there and ask him to make it all better. I am so worried that he will figure it out and start explaining how I have to do this on my own and boundaries and all of that stuff so I am trying to keep those feelings so tucked away.

It is amazing how helpful these boards are at clarity though. I was posting the other day that I just don't know how to tell what is wrong with me and if it really is PTSD. I know I still don't have a concrete answer, but just typing this response to you took everything I had not to start bawling (not a trigger, please dont worry. It was just hearing other people say and do what I feel makes me realize that I am NOT making this all up in my head).

Thank you so very much for being open and saying how you feel.